范文欣赏及点评2
苜儿：
Dear Mr. Kofi Annan,
Thank you for reading this letter in the midst of pressing affairs! I’m a college student from China. I have paying close attention to the world peace, especially recently.
History lets us know, the war made great influence to a country, even the world . It not only influence people's stable life but politics and economy of a country, makes the society in turmoil. We object to the war and recommend the peace. We unwilling to see that solve the dispute with the military force, and hope that the world is full of love. The world peace is an eternal topic. Everybody is looking forward to a really peaceful day.
Please pay more attentions and measures to solve the problem that still exist at present. I believe , the world will be more beautiful tomorrow !
Yours,
Muer
错误：
1.I have paying close attention to the world peace, especially recently. / I have been paying…..
2. History lets us know, the war made great influence to a country, even the world / Historically, the war has great influence on a country,…..
3.It not only influence / influences
4.We unwilling to see that solve the dispute with the military force, / We are unwilling to see that the dispute is solved with……
5.Please pay more attentions and measures to solve the problem / Please pay more attention and take more measures to solve the problem
6.the world will be more beautiful tomorrow ! / the world will have a more beautiful tomorrow !
7.
janezhang：
我的作文(四级)
Dear Mr kofi Anna: nov.28.2004
I am glad to write a letter to you and thanks for you can look it from your busy work.
First,i introduce myself, i am a college student of China.I love peaceful life,so it is bring
more and more happy to me ,i can got life of silence.
Second, i have two viewpoint for the peaceful of world,one side is that the world must
be build ideas of peaceful.other side is that the world must be reduce the violent incident
and terror matter.
eventually,i hope that United Nations take the most function , make it no
war,no terror,only peaceful and beatiful world .i wish every country should
try hard together .
yours sincerely
Janezhang
我写的不好.
错误：错误很多，不及格作文。
1.thanks for you can look it from your busy work. / and many thanks for your reading my letter during your busy work
2.First,i introduce myself, / First, let me introduce myself
3.so it is bring more and more happy to me / so it will bring more and more happy to me
4.i have two viewpoint for the peaceful of world, / I have two viewpoints about the world peace.
5.one side is that the world must be build ideas of peaceful. / … must be built on
6.other side is that the world must be reduce the violent incident and terror matter. / the other is that the world should be free from violent incidents and terrorist matters.
Beone：
我的作文十分的poor............哎，不怕丑的贴出来
Dear Kofi Annan:
I glad to write to you,these is some viewpoint of me about the peace.
Today,the world is more peaceful beforce past.But,it aslo remain so problem which among the countries case the nation's affair conflict.The result for it that it will be cause the war!
There is a great wish of me that i hope the world go on develop and peace forever.Peaceful is most important for our's life.I wonder between the countries which can better solve the contracdition.
At least,i hope the U.N can do more contribution for peace.
Yours sincerely
BB
错误：
1.these is some viewpoint of me about the peace. / there are… / I have some viewpoints
2.the world is more peaceful beforce past / the world is more peaceful than before.
3.it aslo remain so problem which among the countries case the nation's affair conflict 不通
4.The result for it that it will be cause the war! 不通
5.There is a great wish of me that i hope the world go on develop and peace foreve / I was hoping that the world would develop ……
6.I wonder between the countries which can better solve the contracdition. 不通
7.can do more contribution for / can make more contributions to….
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