Part III Let’s Talk Business
LEADING THROUGH CHANGE: Listening as a leader
Often, when we think of communication, we think of speaking, presenting, writing--delivering a message in some way. But an effective communicator is also adept at receiving messages. You won＇t budge people toward a goal if they don＇t feel that they＇ve had input, that they＇ve been heard and understood, and that the vision they＇re working toward is also their own vision. Listening to your followers is the only way you can make this happen.
To be a good leader, HEAR OUT what others have to say:
Hold judgment and hold eye focus Listen carefully and with an open mind--if you＇re defensive you may miss critical information. Don＇t formulate your answer while a person is still speaking. Watch for subtle body language that may offer extra clues to the speaker＇s true meaning. Also, hold eye focus. If you don＇t＇ look at the person who is speaking to you, you can＇t establish trust. As a leader, you want followers to trust you and believe in you.
End all other tasks. Show respect for people by putting aside your paper, lunch, etc., and don＇t take phone calls. You＇ll be better regarded, and you＇ll save time. By "doing it right the first time," there won＇t be misunderstandings or any need to repeat information. Be ready to job down notes as the person speaks.
Allow the speaker to finish. Don＇t interrupt. Don＇t change the subject. Don＇t finish sentences for the speaker. Remain quiet until you＇re sure the speaker has completed his or her thoughts.
Read between the lines. As you listen to the speaker, listen for what might be left unsaid. It＇s not always easy for a person to approach someone in a more senior position and tell it like it is. If you want to get an honest opinion of some of your ideas and actions, you＇ll need to probe. You＇ll also need to value that feedback and the person who gave it to you. Never shoot the messenger.
Outline your understanding. Once the person is finished speaking, reiterate what you believe to be the main ideas, issues, etc. State them simply and, if possible, try to "rank" them from most important to least. At each step, ask the speaker if you＇ve correctly heard the message. Take the time to be certain, or you＇ve both simply wasted time.
Underline major points. Once you and the speaker agree on the main ideas that have been uncovered, focus your attention on one or two of the most important: What needs to be done right now to make the speaker--and you--acknowledge that something positive has been accomplished? What else can be done in the future? Set a date to revisit these main ideas and to discuss progress.
Test the waters. Take what you＇ve learned and test it with others. What are others feeling and thinking? Is this an isolated issue? Don＇t take it any less seriously but if it＇s a "movement" of sorts, you＇ll need to address it differently. Testing the waters allows you to explore the real needs, fears and hopes of your followers and incorporate them into your shared vision. Remember, if you＇re trying to move people in a new direction, you must know here they＇re coming from.
People don＇t always need leaders to agree with them and act on their suggestions. But people always do need to feel their leader cares enough to listen. When people are uncertain what tomorrow may bring, a leader with a reputation as a "good listener" may be the most prized employee in any organization. Work hard to make yourself that person.
Part IIII Exercises and Discussion
Exercise to sensitize your questioning techniques.
1 Write on the board a list of 5 or 6 prominent people that everyone knows. Some of these people should be the subject of current controversy.
2 Write a question of each type (see reasons for asking questions at the beginning of this unit) and address each of your questions to one of the people you have listed.
3 Now grade their questions for levels of delicacy on a scale 1 - 5, with 5 being the most delicate.
4 Check their questions for the appropriateness of their style - are they open or closed; direct or indirect? Adjust the phrasing of the questions to suit the level of delicacy.
5 Lets discuss the results.
Give examples of situations where open/closed types of questions are generally asked.
Choose one of the following topics and make it into a seminar. Try to incorporate all the 15 elements mentioned in part II.
- How to boil an egg
- How to organize a picnic for your company
- Key factors consumers should be aware of when purchasing a DVD player
Rewrite the conversation between John and Mary in Part five. Discuss on the possible outcomes of the conversation with your partner.
Part V Supplementary Materials
Giving Criticism
When it＇s necessary to criticise the work of colleagues it is important to do so in a manner that is supportive and that permits the other person find ways of improving his or her performance. To do this we need to:
Concentrate on the error, not on the person
Avoid generalizations
Provide specific examples of the problems that need attention
Make helpful suggestions for improvement
Avoid a one-sided attack
Avoid insinuations and hints
Conduct the criticism in private so as not to humiliate the other person
Read the dialogue below and make a note of the ways in which John fails to observe the advice given above in his criticisms of Mary＇s work:
John: Come in and take a seat, Mary. This won＇t take a minute.
Mary: What＇s this all about, John?
John: Well I＇m sorry Mary, but I＇ve come to the conclusion that your work＇s just not up to scratch. I need to see a big improvement if you want to stay here.
Mary: I see. I admit I have found these first few weeks a hard, but I need time to settle in and there＇s a lot to learn.
(Knock at the door)
John: Come in.
Jane: Oh, sorry John, I＇ll come back later, I didn＇t realize you were talking.
John: That＇s all right, come in. I was just telling Mary that I don＇t think she＇s really up to the job here.
Jane: No, I don＇t want to intrude on a private conversation; I＇ll come back later.
Mary: So what are you saying John, are you firing me?
John: No; but I have to say that if this little talk doesn＇t make you realize where you＇re going wrong, it may come to that.
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